Thoughts While Watching Avengers for the First Time

So, let me preface this by saying I actually have watched a part of this movie many years ago. 

My family and I rented it on RedBox when I was in 5th or 6th grade to see what all the hype was about. However, we ALL fell asleep and decided it was just too boring. We returned it the next day, so as not to pay that extra dollar fee.

However, my opinion on the Marvel Universe has shifted a lot over the years. I still have fairly limited knowledge about it, but I’ve seen quite a bit of their newer movies: Spiderman, Guardians of the Galaxy, Infinity War, Endgame, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman (just kidding I know that’s DC! Don’t jump down my throat Marvel fans!)

I started watching them when I would go to the movies with my friends who are huge fans, and I was always down to watch a movie, no matter what it was. But, now I’d say I genuinely like them and I especially appreciate that Marvel is moving towards making more genre Superhero films instead of just classic action. I’ll be honest- long scenes of pure action kind of bore me. 

Anyway, I realized I still hadn’t watched this first Avengers movie all the way through, so I thought I’d watch it today and capture all of my honest thoughts and reactions for your enjoyment.

It’s taken me a lot of work to finally be able to watch this movie; I first bought the DVD at Half Price Books only to find it was a scratched disk and didn’t work at all! I had to take that one back and get a replacement. Now that we’re under quarantine and I have all the time in the world, I figured it was the perfect chance, so I went upstairs, got some coffee, a blanket, and my laptop all ready only to find that our TV wouldn’t work! It took my mom and I about 30 minutes to figure out the cord that goes from the DVD player to the TV was broken, but we luckily had another one to replace it with. Why didn’t I just rent it on Amazon for $3.99 you ask? I really have no good excuse. Guess I’m just stuck in 2013 when we only had DVDs.

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Just as I was writing this intro, with the movie ready to go, waiting for me to press play, my Dad walks in and asks “Hey, you wanna go on a walk?”

Laughing at another interruption, I still of course accept the offer to get some sunlight before the rain comes later today. About 10 minutes in to our walk, it starts sprinkling! “Of course this would happen” I said. I was honestly glad for another funny anecdote to add to the growing list of things going wrong before I could finally watch this movie.

See, this blog is already making me more optimistic, even if it is in a weird, twisted kind of way!

So, now I’m sitting here, rain pleasantly thumping on the window outside, finally, finally ready to watch….lets see how this goes!

1. Wow! The scrolly-comic book page intro has gotten so much cooler over the years!
2. This girl really said “Evacuation may be futile. If we can’t control the Tesseract’s energy, there may not be a minimum safe distance.” Are you kidding me? So you’ll just not evacuate anyone because it may be futile if you can’t control it? Who put her in charge of anyone’s safety?
3. *Scientist guy talking about the Tesseract* “She’s misbehaving” LOL, why are inanimate objects always a “she”? (ships, cars, etc.)
4. So, the Tesseract is giving off gamma radiation. I definitely learned about this in chemistry last year! What do I remember about it? Absolutely nothing.
5. I’m supposed to believe they’re all fine after being blasted by this blue-fiery-space portal explosion while standing right by it? 
6. Ok, Loki just kicked their butts in like 5 seconds so I take that back, they’re not fine.
7. “I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose” Wow he’s definitely rehearsed this in the mirror, but I’m loving it!
8. “An ant has not quarrel with a boot” BURN!
9. Okay the effects of that explosion still look pretty good despite being 8 years old!
10. Everyone survived except those in the building! See, Hill aren’t you glad no one listened to your bright idea to just give up and not evacuate. 
11. I love Scarlett Johanson’s short red hair! Not many people could pull that off honestly!
12. They have a flip phone!! Wow, that was normal just a few years ago…crazy!
13. “This moron’s giving me everything” lol she’s my new favorite
14. Aww this little girl is adorable. I want to protect her with my life…but this kind of feels like a trap.
15. Bam!! I was right! 

16. Ahh, nothing like a fancy acronym to make things sound very official. What does SHIELD stand for again? Google says: Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage and Law-Enforcement Division. Hmm maybe they should change international to interdimensional or intergalactical 
17. So, Bruce is mad at the Avengers for not trusting him to not lose control and turn into Hulk, though he doesn’t even trust himself?
18. Captain America is hot. That’s all I have to say about that.
19. Why did I automatically think of the Cinemark M&M commercial when he handed him the folder lol. “This is your mission.” “No this iS aN eNveLoPe” That will forever be ingrained in my brain, I swear!

20. Okay so Iron Man obviously has it together way more than any of these other fools. He’s accomplishing his own missions, and working towards greener energy apparently! He’s got a cool suit, an assistant, a fancy tower, and a girlfriend!
21. My friends have all said Pepper is too controlling and bad for Tony, but I haven’t seen that in the later movies, maybe there’s something in this one?
22. Is Jarvis not the exact same as Batman’s sidekick? I haven’t actually seen Batman, just the Lego one, but I’m pretty sure Batman has an assistant with a very similar name. 
23. I like Tony and Pepper together, this is cute! They’re rich, successful, have fun banter, I don’t see the problem.
24. “I watched you while you were sleeping” This Coulter guy is creepy and suspiciously geeky, I feel like he’s gonna turn evil later in the movie
25. Whoever Loki is talking to in this space cave reminds me of either Darth Maul or Voldemort. He’s got that classic breathy, deep, villain voice. Someone get these guys some water.
26. Wouldn’t be a superhero movie without showing off the high-tech and fancy base with its control room employees spouting random numbers into a headset. 
27. What is it with Hill, she always has an attitude or some judgmental look on her face.
28. Nice, I always appreciate a good spy-at-the-opera scene. This feels very Mission Impossible.
29. Why does he have to suck the life out of this specific guy? Is Loki a vampire? He kinda looks like one.
30. Iron Man and Captain already don’t like each other for literally no reason lol.
31. “There’s only one God ma’am.” Good ole Christian boy right here.
32. So, Loki is taking over the world just because he’s bitter about being in Thor’s shadow his whole life? I’m glad the villains have gotten more complex in more recent movies and have convincing for their actions. I mean Thanos was concerned about, that’s definitely plausible!
33. Bruh- Iron Man what are you doing? You just left Loki alone while attacking Thor for taking him out of your possession in the first place! You think he’s just gonna sit and wait patiently for you to kidnap him?
34. Why do you want Thor to stay out of the way when you both literally have the same goal; to get the cube back and keep Loki away from Earth? This is so dumb I swear!
35. They’re headbutting each other like middle school boys!
36. Well I guess he did just sit there and wait, recapturing Loki was somehow super easy?
37. Why does Loki kinda look like Joaquin Phoenix in Joker.
38. Iron Man is definitely arrogant and acting like he’s in charge of everyone, but he kinda has a right to, he’s the most established out of all of them.
39. Fury:”I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys” Thor: “Monkeys? I do not understand” Steve: “I do. I understood that reference.” Can you hear me not laughing? Who wrote these weird jokes to try and lighten the mood? They should just stick to Iron Man’s sarcasm!
40. Aww Tony and Bruce are bonding….annddd Steve comes in to ruin it like some bossy sibling. Come on I wanted to like you!!
41. Wait Natalie Portman is in this? She’s really in everything what the heck.
42. Nevermind. Does that even count as a cameo? She only got .2 seconds on a laptop screen!
43. So, when Bruce grows into Hulk his human shirt rips off because it’s too small, but his pants are fine? 
44. Action. Action. Action.
45. How is Fury surviving all of this, he doesn’t have any power, just a gun.
46. Wait how did Loki instantly move across the room behind that guy? What are his powers? Probably should’ve watched Thor.
47. How is this Coulson guy still alive? He got stabbed in his internal organs?
48. Okay I eat my words he just died.
49. Lol, I love this security guy, “didn’t think these would fit you till you shrunk down to a regular sized feller”. How does he have a southern accent though? They’re in New York.
50. Okay, please excuse the fact that I just forgot people can move to different states.
51. Black Widow and Hawkeye both spend their whole lives saving each other, aw.
52. Why does everyone think Fury is evil? Guess I’m just prone to liking him because he’s so charismatic in Captain Marvel with his cat and all.
53. Okay, so he lied about the trading cards being in Coulson’s jacket instead of his locker. It was apparently a little white lie to motivate them into working together and saving the day, but its definitely suspicious, and Hill knows it. I’m starting to see the sketchier side of Fury now, what else could he be lying about?
54. Iron Man:“Performance issues…its not uncommon” HA ok this is great!
55. Whats up with Loki’s army of skeleton aliens? Where did he get these guys? Asgard? Ebay?
56. City-destroying-epic-battles always have to happen in New York City. A ton of innocent people always die and the hero(s) doesn’t acknowledge it at all.
57. Loki’s horn helmet looks so dumb! Dude, I can’t take you seriously with these cockroach antenes.

58. Okay I’ll admit it, Loki’s army does have really cool flying saucers!
59. Hawkeye is so underrated, he’s actually helping the innocent people out of a burning bus! 
60. Okay they took down that giant dragon thing really quickly. Is that it?
61. Alright guess Captain America is the boss now
62. Oh there’s more dragons I see…
63. They want Fury to order a nuclear strike on Manhattan? What the? Can’t they try getting more than like 12 army guys to help out before resorting to bombing the entire city and thousands of people?!
64. Where’s the president? Shouldn’t he be doing something? Why is Fury making all of these huge national decisions? Like I said before, all he has is a gun and some cool contacts.
65. If Loki is the primary villain how come we haven’t seen him in like 20 minutes and we’re at the climax of the movie?
66. Tony is gonna sacrifice himself? Obviously he won’t die in this movie but this shows such a nice character growth. He’s proving to himself and to the team (especially Captain America) that he’s not self centered, and he is willing to do whatever it takes.
67. What is this “shawarma” Iron Man speaks of? Google says: Shawarma is a dish in Middle Eastern cuisine consisting of meat cut into thin slices, stacked in a cone-like shape, and roasted on a slowly-turning vertical rotisserie or spit.
68. I saw the Stan cameo!! Awesome, I feel like a true fan now!
69. What is Thor gonna do with the Tesseract?
70. Why is everyone concerned about the Avengers and not the fact that Loki is still alive?
71. ~and the avengers were born~
72. Okay, but why did they set up this whole suspicious aura around Fury and him lying to the Avengers just for nothing to happen? 
73. THANOS is in the end credits WOAHHHHHH! Okay I was not expecting that, cool, is this his first appearance?
74. What is this cringy rock music that I have to listen all the way through just to watch the next end credit scene? Wait, I have a remote I can fast forward! YEsss, power is good!
75. That’s it? Got their shawarma lol. That scene isn’t really worth waiting for unless you can fast forward. 
76. Final thoughts: That was pretty good, kind of long, but what did I really expect lol? I’m glad I gave this movie another chance, but I think Infinity War and Endgame were much better!
77. It was kind of weird that the only female characters in the entire movie were Pepper, Hill, and Black Widow, and Black Widow was the only one who really contributed. It’s super different from Endgame, where they made a point of emphasizing all of the ~strong women~ in a way that felt super forced and over-the-top. I think they need to find a good middle ground where they have important characters of both genders but don’t try to make a statement about it. Okay I’m off my soapbox now, lol!

I know I was nit picky, but I actually enjoyed this movie a lot! What did you think of my reaction? Which movies should I watch next? Leave your thoughts or recommendations in a comment below!